I think that word gets thrown around too often.
If you think about it, two of the most overused and commonly misused words in the English language might be ‘love’ and ‘lonely.’ And often enough, one follows the other in most situations.
The distinct differences between ‘love’ and ‘in love’ or the ones between ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’ can be forgotten, letting the words slip passed our mouths whether we notice it or not. I find myself very reluctant to use the word ‘lonely’ unless I absolutely mean it. Truthfully, over time, I just grew used to keeping certain company, and during the transition to a new atmosphere, I thought I was losing my breath, when in reality, I just didn’t notice that I was adapting in my own way.
I’ve witnessed a couple of heartbreaks within the past year, one of them being my own, and, while it was a conscience ripping experience, I now know that I wasn’t really lonely. I grew used to his company, the routine, the lifestyle I picked up that was ‘me and him.’ In the process, I neglected to see that the original company I kept had not really changed. I was not alone. The same people who kept me from being lonely in the past were still there, but my mind had been so in deep with someone else that I just… forgot about them.
That was my mistake.
Thinking back to my previous post about the subjectivity of romance, I looked past the friends whose memories had been tattooed onto my skin and only saw his name – a temporary tattoo extended with extra care and my own neglect.
“The sea never falters.”
These are the experiences of people who are not actually lonely – they just crave the company they became used to.
It does not do to leave the world you’ve made as your own for a dream in the hopes of making it a reality. Youth in love, youth alone, youth intertwined with the circumstances of the freedom to give yourself away – it should never be confused with that step towards being away from that world for so long that it becomes foreign. Know your world, know why it exists. See why your world is where you are safe.
Don’t throw away the key and you won’t be lonely.